One hundred drunken boasts your players might overhear in the tavern.
d100 | Entry |
---|---|
1 | "I once hit a medusa so hard in the face its eyes saw each other." |
2 | "I once shouted the fire off of a burning orphanage." |
3 | "I once killed 7 men in one stroke." |
4 | "I once killed 7 flies in one stroke." |
5 | "I once lived for a year in a barren desert solely off of juice which I squeezed from rocks." |
6 | "I once killed a red dragon with fire." |
7 | "I stole a kiss from a nymph in a hidden grotto, cold as the moon she was, but twice as lovely." |
8 | "I once beat an ogre in an arm wrestle." |
9 | "I punched an incoming arrow once. It went right through the eye of the archer." |
10 | "Once had a dryad wanna inhabit my wood if'n ya know what I mean." |
11 | "One time, I beat the mayor in an egg spoon race." |
12 | "I once outdrank a clan of dwarves in a drinking contest." |
13 | "I once caught a fish that was TTTTHHHHIIIIISSSSS BIG." |
14 | "I got a free go at the land's most expensive brothel by pretending to be the king." |
15 | "One time I seduced a god. That's why they weren't answering your prayers." |
16 | "I once blew out a fire elemental with a belch." |
17 | "I once drank an entire water elemental." |
18 | "My shadow is actually a Shadow. It does what I want because it's scared of me." |
19 | "Once I was bit by a wererat and it turned into me." |
20 | "I once led an army of kobolds." |
21 | "I've been to the 7th layer of the Abyss." |
22 | "I once told a riddle so ingenious a Sphinx couldn't solve it. It killed itself out of shame." |
23 | "I'm so good at handstands I can do them with two hands tied behind my back!" |
24 | "I once drowned a merfolk." |
25 | "Grew a beard so rough it beat a mindflayer in a tentacle wrestling contest." |
26 | "Found Vecna's liver and it's not done me any wrong since I got it in." |
27 | "I once drank myself free from a bowl of watery death." |
28 | "I once ambushed a mimic with my disguise." |
29 | "I once threw a minotaur so far, he landed in a different kingdom." |
30 | "I once cut off all of a hydra's heads at once." |
31 | "I once seduced a succubus." |
32 | "I once tricked a mimic with a fake adventurer." |
33 | "I once beat an ettin in a staring contest." |
34 | "Just last week, I ate 100 hard boiled eggs in an hour." |
35 | "I once domesticated a displacer beast. Nasty things are impossible to keep track of, so I had to get rid of it." |
36 | "I once defeated a clan of trolls while in the middle of a pie eating contest and still won." |
37 | "I flexed so hard once that the vampire sucking my blood popped." |
38 | "I once used all three wishes from a ring to get a nice mutton and lettuce sandwich where the mutton is extra lean." |
39 | "I can dodge a Spear of Backbiting." |
40 | "I once beat a Medusa in a staring contest!" |
41 | "Drizzt Do'Urden personally gifted me a panther cub to be my familiar." |
42 | "I am the Raven Queen." |
43 | "I once drank a decanter of endless water dry." |
44 | "I once hit an owlbear SOOO hard, it turned into a bearowl." |
45 | "I beat Asmodeus at dragon chess once." |
46 | "I killed a man, with THIS THUMB." |
47 | "Lightweight! I once drank a dragon under the table, I'll have you know!" |
48 | "I once wrestled a dragon out of the sky." |
49 | "I once beat a Beholder in a game of I Spy." |
50 | "I've had, like, 50 heart attacks, and I'm still standing!" |
51 | "I convinced a God to make a star for me, no you can't see it from here." |
52 | "I calmed a raging barbarian." |
53 | "I once got a standing ovation from (a famous bard)." |
54 | "I convinced (a famous cleric or paladin) to follow me." |
55 | "I put a suit of armor on a monk." |
56 | "I spotted (a famous rogue) sneaking around the city." |
57 | "I beat (a famous ranger or druid) at hide and seek in the woods." |
58 | "I beat (a famous wizard or scholar) in a trivia competition." |
59 | "I cracked a set of adamantine armor." |
60 | "I drank everything out of an Alchemy Jug." |
61 | "I exterminated a camp of ogres while wearing armor of vulnerability." |
62 | "I found an arrow of me slaying, stabbed myself with it, and didn’t pass out from the pain." |
63 | "I pulled myself out from inside a bag of devouring." |
64 | "I beat out someone wearing boots of speed in a foot race." |
65 | "I held a door closed through a Chime of Opening." |
66 | "I saw someone wearing a cloak of invisibility." |
67 | "I walked through the barrier from a Cube of Force." |
68 | "I’ve killed enough dragons to create a a set of Dragon Scale Mail for each dragon type." |
69 | "I hid from someone using a Gem of Seeing." |
70 | "I bench-pressed an Immovable Rod." |
71 | "I beat a Storm Giant in a wrestling match." |
72 | "I won a barfight against someone who had just drank a Potion of Invulnerability." |
73 | "I drank my weight in Potions of Poison." |
74 | "I found a Robe of Useful Items and the only patch on it was me." |
75 | "I opened something glued shut with Sovereign Glue." |
76 | "I walked through a Sphere of Annihilation." |
77 | "I found a luckstone carved in the image of me." |
78 | "Someone used Detect Magic, and all it found was me." |
79 | "I once converted a Mind Flayer to veganism." |
80 | "I was almost the king' s brother/sister-in-law." |
81 | "I just downed the spiciest burrito you ever did see. Until a couple seconds ago my mouth was still smoldering." |
82 | "I once peed of a cliff and hit a bird three meters away from me." |
83 | "You know that mine in the nearby mountains? I dug it. With a single punch." |
84 | "I once kicked a shark so hard it exploded." |
85 | "I once hit a Mind Flayer so hard its tentacles went in its mouth." |
86 | "I went to a village in the far lands and drove the inhabitants insane." |
87 | "I'm a celestial travel guide looking for a green starship." |
88 | "I've danced with a devil in the pale moonlight." |
89 | "I put the man in manticore." |
90 | "I can cast spells with no hands." |
91 | "With my serenade, I once enthralled a siren." |
92 | "I've visited the cloud district often, have you? Oh what am I saying." |
93 | "A dwarf has no chance in our drinking my liver." |
94 | "I once stopped a hurricane by shooting at it with a bow." |
95 | "Dragons learned how to breathe fire from me." |
96 | "Your looking at the man who has made three volcanoes erupt prematurely." |
97 | "I once casted a tenth level spell." |
98 | "I once beat a demon so bad he begged an occultist sent him back." |
99 | "I once painted a portrait so lifelike the buyer started using it as a mirror." |
100 | "I've hiked so many mountains I know all the mountain goats by name." |